Today marks two months of having to say goodbye to my beloved fur baby.
After she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, all we had left were three short weeks of giving her all the love possible and make her last days as enjoyable and painless as possible.
The last two months have been filled with pain, anger, and sadness. I feel like I am still not done processing the cancer diagnosis, yet she has already been gone for eight weeks.
These past weeks I have felt like I was moving on too fast and not fast enough. I have felt like I am grieving too much and not enough. I have spent time fully indulging in my feelings and pushing them as far away as possible.
These past two months have been hard.
I still look for her around every corner. I still hear the little noises her paws made on the floor. I still hear her bark every now and then. And I vividly dream of her a lot.
For ten years, she has been my furry best friend. She has been by my side from childhood through my teenage years into adulthood. To say I miss her is an understatement. And honestly, sometimes it feels like I will never get over this.
And yet, after all, she had to go through in her last few weeks, I am eternally grateful that she was able to fall asleep forever in the comfort of her home – where she liked being the best.
My little lady, I love you so much. You will always have a special place in my heart.